I have let far, far too many goddamn great opportunities pass me by due to being so painfully shy. 

Not even slightly cool.

lololol

Now I’m really awake and I want to sleep cause there’s nothing to do but I can’t sleep so I’m just going to sit here being bored waiting for something slightly exciting to happen though it probably wont so in all fairness I may as well in actual fact try and sleep. 

Apparently my energy burst has got rid of my ability to use punctuation…

I feel like a completely different person from 2 weeks ago. I’m in such a happy place and have a new outlook on life and a new found respect for myself. 

Tings are guuuuuuurd.

I basically spilled my heart to James Langton today who despite being a total nob (he dragged me into Clintons so he could ask where the cards are) he actually gave me some really good advice. I’ve come to the decision that I massively need to change my life. I want a complete fresh new start. I am so fed up of being a push over and repeatedly getting fucked over by ‘friends’. I hate that I’ve created the impression that it doesn’t matter what you do to me cause I’ll forgive you anyway. It really is time to man the fuck up. Its about time I started making good things happen in my life. Its about time I started standing up for myself. Its about time I stopped letting opportunities pass. I know now exactly where I want to be and who I want to be. I’m going to make damn sure I get there. No more being weak, no more doubting myself, no more self pity. Just sheer determination. I’m fed up of bitchy little girls getting to me. I’m fed up of caring too much. At the end of the day all I want is to create the best possible life I can for my son and I promise you now I’m going to do that. God help you if you doubt me or get in my way.
A fucking men. 

It’s back to college tomorrow and I can’t believe where the time has gone! I’ve literally had such an amazing time and as sad as I am to say goodbye to it all I’m definitely excited to crack on with next years projects and get back into a routine. I’ve literally got some amazing ideas as well! So now as I kiss goodbye to a truly beautiful summer I shall leave you with a few of my favourite memories.

Blue lagooooon! Harriets sex bruises, Jazzy shirts, Trips to Sheffield (I’ve pushed smaller babies out my vagina!) Nature wees, Laughing gas, Ending up at strangers homes, Chilling with your hero from when you were 14 and trying to keep it cool, Strip clubs, falling asleep on Narbourough Road, Lauras drum and bass dancing, Lauras a million cats, Milf jokes, Les Miserables, My mother shouting “GAY GAY GAY” in the busy streets of London, Cock blocking with Disney songs (I can see what’s happening. WHAT. But they don’t have a clue…) Two for £10 cocktail pitchers, Emotionally breaking down while watching Harry Potter, Arriving home half dressed TWICE, Super long straw cause its a straw but is super long, Reiss boy and the ice, Telling your life story to ridiculously attractive strangers, Telling your life story to everyone, Car journeys in Harriets car boot, THE OTHER DAY I SAW A FOX HE WAS RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE…’, The ‘I CAUGHT A TROLL’ story, Chilling at bradgate park instead of going home after a night out, Getting  a credit card and trying to convince everyone a trip to Spain instead of going home on a night out is a good idea, Getting yerrr nips out, GIIIIIIIINGE, Losing fags and not telling ANYONE…, Winnie the pooh every facking day! Pyjama days with Toby, Everyday with Toby, Being half of a lesbian married couple, Getting proposals from bouncers, Weirdo stalkers,  Being too hungover to clean a glass so drinking out of a bowl, searching for Gaddafi, Fights in shefftown, Generally epic dancing, Knee sliding in mosh, Hiding from moths, Shaving my head, OH YOU, LADDERGOAT, YOU SO RANDOM, My ginger son chasing after people while barking like a dog, Trying to convince two fit brothers a threesome is a good idea, General loss of dignity, Fridays at Goldrush, My lerp in general, Dead cows, I’M STUCK I’M STUCK, Stealing mushrooms from the market, James Langton in mosh, and a whole lot more that I was most likely to intoxicated to remember. 

1. Who was he last person you held hands with?
Last nights game.

2. Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?
All three depending on the situation.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
The college gang on Friday!

4. Are you easy to get along with?
Yeah, i’m well nice me!

5. Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to them?
Story of ma life.

6. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?
I hate liking people.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? 
I don’t get on with relationships. 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Fuck off.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
No I’m far to open about that shit.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
I don’t even know to be honest

11. What does your most recent text say?
‘YOU DO!! How was last night?’

12. How do you feel about abortion?
I have a baby, what do you think.

13. Do you like big crowds of people?
I don’t like people in general.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Yeah big time. I’m ridiculously superstitious. Though a bird shat on me yesterday and I didn’t see the lucky side.

15. What good thing happened this summer?
Oh my god, everything. It’s actually been mental!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 
Yeah, he’s fit. 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
I really don’t care to be honest.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
My first crush was Leonardo Dicaprio. Had a Titanic poster and everything! Defo didn’t write him a letter once or anything…

19. Do you like bubble baths?
Don’t even get me started on baths! I fucking love um!
 
20. Do you like your neighbours?
NO.

21. What are your bad habits?
Smoking and collecting every single fucking leaflet I come across then never thowing them away. Oh and swearing, I always fookin’ swear.

22. Where would you like to travel?
Everywhere in the world to be honest. Apart from Coventry. I fucking hate Coventry.

23. Do you have trust issues?
Yeah, big time.

24. Favourite part of your daily routine?
The bit where Tobys just woken up and I get him out of his bed and put him in with me for a 15 minute cuddle.

25. What body part are you most uncomfortable with?
Thunder fucking thighs and small fucking titties.

26. What do you do when you wake up?
Open my eyes, what, i don’t know!

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
A lil bit darker. Been mistaken for an albino before and this is a true fucking story.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?
Myself.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Yeah. I BET IT SUCKS TO BE YOU RIGHT NOWWWWWW.

30. Do you ever want to get married?
I really really don’t. Marriages that last are pretty rare these days and I wouldn’t want to take the risk of divorce.

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail?
YEAH BOI.

32. Which celebrities would you like having a threesome with?
Orlando weeks (if he counts as a celebrity) and probably Johnny Depp. I’d happily sit on his face.

33. Spell your name with your chin.
No.

34. Do you play any sports?
LOL.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV, I rarely watch it anyway.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
OMG ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I’ve only ever told one person I liked them and never am I ever doing that again! 

37. What do you say during awkward silences?
Start describing my labour in great detail.

38. Do you think age matters in relationships?
Well yeah, if a 45 year old wants to go out with a 12 year old then that’s just fucking wrong.

39. What are your favourite stores to shop in?
EBAY EBAY EBAY EBAY EBAY. Basically just for that thrill you get watching the last 10 seconds tick away and you’re still the highest bidder.

40. What do you want to do after high school?
I’m in college now.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Lol, no.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?
I’ve lost my voice.

43. Do you smile at strangers?
Yeah, makes me feel all good like I’ve made someones day.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
The bottom of the ocean preferably the exact spot where the Titanic sank.

45. Do you want a room mate?
I’m currently looking at moving out and a room mate would make the experience a lot less lonely. I’d probably just end up banging them though.

46. What are you paranoid about?
Don’t even want to say.

47. What was the meanest thing someone ever said to you?
I don’t really know, theres a fair few things I could put but I don’t particularly want to bring up the negatives.

48. The nicest thing?
MILF.

49. Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about?
Probably.

50. What language do you want to learn?
French. BONJOUR! 

My throat has decided it hates me and I can no longer eat and talk which are pretty much my two favourite things. So I’m just going to type angrily instead while feeling sorry for myself. 

Please go away.

Eat my feelings and get really fat. 

So productive. 

My mind simply wont rest and insists on reminding me how much of a mess I seem to have made my life.

I’m in the mood for some kind of in depth conversation but I very much doubt that’s going to happen.

I also don’t get how I’m still so not over this one. Please get out my head.

God I’m fucking miserable!

:).